


Jonathan

by mikasasha



Category: Baby Driver (2017)
Genre: F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Kinda, Trans Character, but its happy :~)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 02:51:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12496964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikasasha/pseuds/mikasasha
Summary: Her name is Debora. She loves the name; she picked it out herself.





	Jonathan

**Author's Note:**

> debora is trans and theres nothing anyone can do about it

Debora doesn’t like to call it "coming out". She likes to call it "telling the truth".

When she told her parents and sister, it wasn’t a new revelation. It turned out they could tell, for the most part. She used to always get into her mom’s makeup and clothes, used to ask for dresses and lacy socks and pretty dress shoes she always saw girls wearing at school. She played with her sister’s Barbies and hung out with all of her sister’s friends; hell, she knew her sister’s friends’ drama better than her sister did. She didn’t need to "come out" to her family, she just stopped lying. She told the truth.

When she told her boss, he said that he could tell too. In the way she talked, the way she poised herself, and how she wore her hair. Immediately after she told her boss, he made sure to get her a new uniform, and made a lot less of a fuss of it than she expected. All he made a big deal of was the whole "if anyone ever gives you shit for this" talk, and even though she thought it was all moot, it made her happy. She thanked him, and he only started crying when she did. She didn’t need to "come out" to him, she just stopped lying. She told the truth.

It’s been a process, and it’s taken a lot, but she finally feels pretty and presentable, with makeup and dresses and hair that’s too long for people to call "jewfro" anymore. She has lots of bows and lacy socks, lots of skirts and heels, and lots and lots of makeup.

When Baby came along, it had just been two months after she told the truth to her boss. Her new name tag wasn’t in from the shop yet, something her boss kept forgetting to order or the shop kept forgetting to make.

It’s safe to say that Debora _hates_ the name Jonathan. Growing up, it feels like it’s almost all she ever heard. Jonathan, John, Johnny. She hates all of them. All she ever hears when the name Jonathan crosses her mind is her dad calling her "Johnny Boy" and her mom calling her "Baby John".

It feels like every time she sees or hears that name, her stomach begins to boil and she gets dizzy. It’s exhausting, hearing that name. It drains her, makes her sick to her stomach.

Hearing one of the most beautiful boys she's ever seen inquisitively say, "Jonathan?"- as if it was the most outlandish thing she could ever be called- was humiliating.

When he said it, her throat hurt and her knees felt weaker, and she would have started crying out of embarrassment if he wasn't so damn attractive.

Their conversation was pleasant; cute and flirtatious and she was ecstatic that a boy seemed to like her. But when he left, when the remembrance of his perfect smile and silly indoor sunglasses left, all she heard echo in her head was "Jonathan", "Jonathan", "Jonathan" in his soft voice.

When he left, she went into the kitchen and sobbed; bawled her eyes out to the sound of her boss, startled, asking what's wrong and the feel of his hands trying his best to comfort her.

She explained what happened through tears, and tried to shrug it off; tried to make it seem like she didn't think it was a big deal, because it really wasn't, but it sure felt like it. Immediately her boss began apologizing, and Debora tried to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but he left to his office and picked up his phone instantly, calling whoever made the nametags to "hurry the fuck up with Debora's nametag or I swear to fucking God".

She got her new nametag the next day, sparkling and new, with the beautiful name "Debora" scrawled across it.

She traced her fingers over the engraved letters, feeling the bumps of _her_ name.

Her name isn't Jonathan. Her name is _Debora_.

When she tells Baby that (tells _Miles_ that) after everything- after the cars and chases and running and jail- he laughs and says it doesn't bother him one bit.

And every time she sees Baby, hears him call her "Deb" or "Debbie" or "Debora", her smile threatens to break her face.

Baby reminds her every day; on the good ones where her confidence is in the clouds and on the bad days when she _feels_ like a Jonathan. He reminds her that her name isn't Jonathan, her name was never Jonathan. Her name is Debora. She loves the name; she picked it out herself.

**Author's Note:**

> is this good? no. do i care? no
> 
> i typically h8 thinking of straights but baby driver is my favorite movie and since it didnt pass the bechdel test ill fucking make it and it sadly needs hets


End file.
